In my essay two I
need to revise my thesis statement and make it show what I am arguing for in my
essay. I also need to spend more time analyzing the ad and making sure that I
am speaking about the visual aspects of it. I need to make sure all my punctuation
is good and I am not having run on sentences and too many or too less comas,
which is a problem I have often. I also
need to make sure that I am not putting my opinion in my paper and not using “I”,
I think that this would be a lower concern. A lot of times I will have a good
idea and I will write it down and then forget to go back and edit it and make
it fit into my paragraph. This makes the whole paragraph messed up and doesnn’t
make sense. When I went to the lab they told me I was focusing too much on just
what my person was saying in the speech and not arguing my point enough. I am
going to work more on analyzing in my essay 2. I will post my paragraphs and
revised when I have them.
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