"Over the course of her heartfelt speech, First Lady
Michelle Obama uses various forms of appeals and organization to create an
effective argument speaking to potential voters" Is my current thesis. Even
when first writing my essay I thought about changing my thesis, mainly because it
was difficult to come up with in the first place. I would like to rearrange it
or just come up with a new one. I do not think it is horrible, but I do feel as
though it could a lot stronger. Maybe instead of saying "Various forms of
appeals" I could actually say what forms of appeals are used instead of
being so general. But I do not think that you are supposed to be too detailed
in your thesis either...I think it is a pretty good thesis but if any of you
have any pointers feel free to comment. I would like to change my thesis
because it could help me add or come of with some stronger key points to add
into my essay.
I think you are on the right track but, I think that your thesis should be specific to what you are going to explain in your essay. What I mean by that is that you should include the strategies, appeals, or tactics the speaker uses to convey her message. You have the right idea about providing the appeals. You should also probably suggest what she is arguing about. Just provide a few word glimpse of her arguments like: "to create and effective argument for???" I believe you will have a awesome thesis when it is revised. Good luck!
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